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December 12, 2018

Lately, I come to the realization that majority of my posts set quite the optimistic tone to recovery and eating disorders. I find that in my writing, much like during my recovery experience, I often focus on the positive. This is due to my journey including a mindful...

December 7, 2018

Broken vase once full of flowers,

My life was shattered, pieces apart.

The missing fractions I am seeking,

But what if they can be replaced…?

Instead of gluing up the vase,

I use clay and make one from scratch.

Instead of analyzing how I got here,

I focus on the destination I...

December 4, 2018

“It’s never really about the food”, he said. Thinking to myself, it so is about the food – as I cannot bring myself to eat - I was confused as to how on earth I ended up sitting in a psychiatrist’s office. And yet, by some force of the universe, I had a feeling he was...

November 22, 2018

Aggressive.

Starting before dawn with a soulcycle workout;

Ending well into dusk: alcoholic blackout.

Blissful.

Coffee-aroused, strutting down Mercer and Green;

Rosé-buzzed, limping from the bars in Brooklyn.

Candid.

About the one too many guys you are dating all at once,

But...

November 13, 2018

Hunger and restriction

These feelings I would chase

The were my big addiction

My very happy place

One after another

They usually came

Each time they found each other

I attained an aim

The cravings never last

They easily die

As soon as they have past

Came feelings of a high

Somethi...

October 25, 2018

An old letter

I don’t even know where to begin. End of August I wanted to Skype you. I was getting my nails done and had an urge to talk to you, to tell you how right you were about many things, to inform you that I realized, at last, that things had to change and that...

October 16, 2018

An old letter

Involuntarily, I have put you through hell and back. Involuntarily, I have deprived you from all the goodness you deserve for serving me my whole life, for allowing me to thrive intellectually, for supporting the craziest of my pursuits physically, for mak...

October 11, 2018

Those faint summers back in July

Days were passing, and I felt high.

High in spirits, high in disguise

When dark crept up I felt alive. 

Nights under the discotheque heat,

Now the only hours when I would eat.

Moments filled with friends, now in retreat.

Moments filled with la...

October 2, 2018

Don’t censor opinions, express how you feel,

Never be sorry for purely being real.

Expose own emotions and act as you please,

When self-conscious you feel, don’t pretend you’re at ease.

Steer clear of people, who show a double face,

As well as those relationships, where you...

September 8, 2018

The beginning of a year where

I thought I would be lead nowhere.

I was unable to make the split.

Thankfully, rock bottom I hit.

When you forever feel trapped in the depths,

I recommend you to take a couple full breaths.

When the road ahead looks nothing but grey,

Please stay...

August 30, 2018

Lately, I am running out of enthusiasm in writing about my experience with anorexia - frustrating, and same time liberating. In recovery, you long for the day where you can no longer relate to the illness; at least I do. While aware that it’s a matter of years, I know...

August 23, 2018

Woken by the alarming feel of anxiety,

Promptly out of bed we must climb.

To merge with the rest of early rise society,

We rush to get ready in time.

Loosing any and all track of our lifelong goal,

Once in the office we arrive,

Everyday we surrender a piece of our soul,

For t...

August 19, 2018

The more unawareness I meet in my interactions with friends and relatives, the stronger my impulse to expose every single bit of my story. I trust that awareness will help lift up the stigma behind mental illness and foster more openness from fellow sufferers. I believ...

August 13, 2018

The first step in discovering our Self, in learning how to live our life freely and fully, is seeing how this Self - the soul - was present all along.

Let’s start by recalling the glimpses of true personality that always inhabited our thoughts. Those instants where we p...

August 9, 2018

Do you feel that you cruise through life not really knowing why you do the things you do? Be it your vocation in general, or the little actions and thoughts you notice in your quotidian? Maybe it’s switching off from the “outside world” all too often, or hoping you cou...

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