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March 27, 2019

How endless the possibilities

By which our journey may enfold.

And how comforting to think we have agency,

But how much of it do our actions really mold?

Perhaps our faith is predestined,

At the mercy of the One above;

Perhaps energy’s manifesting,

The things we most fiercely...

March 4, 2019

When it comes to life,

Time steals.

When you survive death,

Time heals.

When you find it,

Love can convert.

When you loose it,

Love will subvert.

When in denial

Feelings trapped behind closed door,

When in acceptance

Feelings make way to the soul.

February 19, 2019

I lived with anxiety, with unceasing fear

Constantly worried of what happens this year.

I stayed isolated, pulled back from friends

Dreading the ones who visited on weekends.

I favored to stay alone, in my suffering to sit

Than meeting with loved ones and pretending to fit.

...

February 10, 2019

Both in sickness and in my health;

From small pay through the accumulation of wealth.

In my serenity and beyond my anxiety;

From drunken Fridays through Sunday’s sobriety.

During happy times, but also some sad ones.

From my first CFA, until I got’em all done.

Hosting visitor...

January 17, 2019

Life or death decisions

Precede my every meal

Life or death decisions

In choosing which oatmeal

Sugar, oil and bread

Taste better than sex

Sugar, oil and bread

Which to fear next?

Protein, fat and carbs

What ratios to use?

Protein, fat and carbs

Fats, I can’t abuse

Food court, mar...

January 13, 2019

I hope

These thoughts will someday be long gone, far away

I hope

They feel foreign, like my long lost hunger decay

I hope

To bring to my life a deeper devotion

I hope

It carries itself in meaningful motion

I hope

To no longer feel this unsettling void

I hope

To limit the affairs...

December 22, 2018

I spent a couple of hours delaying to write.

Hungry for words, the words found me.

I spent a couple of days beating around the bush.

Failing to deliver a hint, the hint found me.

I spent a couple of weeks trying to understand.

Waiting for answers, answers found me.

I spent a...

December 7, 2018

Broken vase once full of flowers,

My life was shattered, pieces apart.

The missing fractions I am seeking,

But what if they can be replaced…?

Instead of gluing up the vase,

I use clay and make one from scratch.

Instead of analyzing how I got here,

I focus on the destination I...

November 22, 2018

Aggressive.

Starting before dawn with a soulcycle workout;

Ending well into dusk: alcoholic blackout.

Blissful.

Coffee-aroused, strutting down Mercer and Green;

Rosé-buzzed, limping from the bars in Brooklyn.

Candid.

About the one too many guys you are dating all at once,

But...

November 13, 2018

Hunger and restriction

These feelings I would chase

The were my big addiction

My very happy place

One after another

They usually came

Each time they found each other

I attained an aim

The cravings never last

They easily die

As soon as they have past

Came feelings of a high

Somethi...

October 11, 2018

Those faint summers back in July

Days were passing, and I felt high.

High in spirits, high in disguise

When dark crept up I felt alive. 

Nights under the discotheque heat,

Now the only hours when I would eat.

Moments filled with friends, now in retreat.

Moments filled with la...

October 2, 2018

Don’t censor opinions, express how you feel,

Never be sorry for purely being real.

Expose own emotions and act as you please,

When self-conscious you feel, don’t pretend you’re at ease.

Steer clear of people, who show a double face,

As well as those relationships, where you...

September 8, 2018

The beginning of a year where

I thought I would be lead nowhere.

I was unable to make the split.

Thankfully, rock bottom I hit.

When you forever feel trapped in the depths,

I recommend you to take a couple full breaths.

When the road ahead looks nothing but grey,

Please stay...

August 23, 2018

Woken by the alarming feel of anxiety,

Promptly out of bed we must climb.

To merge with the rest of early rise society,

We rush to get ready in time.

Loosing any and all track of our lifelong goal,

Once in the office we arrive,

Everyday we surrender a piece of our soul,

For t...

April 5, 2018

Although I never intended to loose any mass,

Pleasure I found, in how fast my hunger pangs pass.

Then came the day,

When all it took was a glimpse to say:

This aversion to food,

It’s making all of my bones protrude!

Not to worry, tomorrow I start eating.

A journal, you think,...

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